Bureaucrats in tights

Olympic Games in Rio have become sort of the finest hour of the World Anti-Doping Agency (WADA).

During preparations to this notable event, sports officials who were not so much fame spoiled previously, by some miracle transformed into superstars basking under floodlight projectors that were actually meant for athletes, the true Olympic celebs.

Alas... rules change with the times. The evolution of the Ancient Greek hierurgy into the spectacular show of officials has been successfully accomplished.

There are available all of them before our eyes now: managers from the Montreal offices, their secretaries, legions of outsourcing inspectors collecting athletes' samples for tests, lines of the umpteen Heisenbergs smelling and tasting pee in their labs, and even readily flocking together on the podiums the professional Pinkertons with weighty packs of crispy bonds in their pockets.

Actually, the way all these outsourcing "bureaus" get chosen is an absolutely classified procedure. I wouldn't be surprised at all to learn that the whole super reliable enterprise has been tightly supervised by the bamboozling team of the numerous relatives and all those kin to the unbending fighters against doping. Mind that this is only the tip of a huge iceberg, for, apart from WADA, international federations have their own medical and anti-doping commissions. They can also hire outside inspectors and rent laboratories, just the way the national anti-doping agencies acting on the WADA license do.

Fabulous! I wish I could see the results of the independent audit of this monstrous parasite flourishing next to real sports activities, if, of course, such an audit is ever possible in the wild jungle of the bureaucratic chaos.

As a matter of fact, there are people who tend to view this entire jumble not so much as a shield to cover financial tricks but rather as a smoking screen set to camouflage the fragrant incompetence and outrageous professional impotence of the WADA managing staffers.

Actually, this accounts for both extremely lengthy terms to try anti-doping cases and multiyear delays with making public vital information on positive doping probes.

It may be real. Anyway, it's high time we started bringing things to normal in those Augean stables of sports bureaucracy at last.